


Guardian

by ZephyrOfAllTrades



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale's trying to be logical, Eden - Freeform, Humor, I gave it away, Just some babble, Not Beta Read, Pre-Canon, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 06:39:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21369796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrOfAllTrades/pseuds/ZephyrOfAllTrades
Summary: "I am not responsible for a fault of not guarding something I was not specifically told to guard"Aziraphale just trying to make sense why he was being demoted for guarding the Eastern Gate as he was told to do.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Guardian

**Author's Note:**

> Just me babbling away. :D

A lone figure was pacing by a tall wall inside a rather lush garden, a garden we shall call Eden. He was dressed in flowing white robes. His skin was fair with blonde-almost-white hair, curling what little it could even if it was rather short. He is an angel. In his hand was a sword that was on fire but it didn’t burn him. Although carrying it around for the last few hours was a bit tiring but he was afraid he’d lose it if he ever puts it down.

The clouds were starting to darken. He sighed.

A bugger of a premonition on his first day on the job. He thought to himself. He had just got there a few hours ago to be Guardian of the Eastern Gate. It was his first few hours on Earth and was still trying on his new corporation.

A shadow from above got him to look up again.

“Really Aziraphale, your first big assignment and you blew it.” The shadow was that of a rather bigger angel who landed in front of him. It spoke with no greeting, no cordiality in its tone. It threw the reprimand before even touching the ground – a great sign of impatience and a profound air of _Clearly, I don’t want to be here_. It was the archangel Gabriel, also in white robes with dark hair as short as Aziraphale’s but straighter. With no real personality – like its owner.

“Sorry,” Aziraphale stammers, it was the first word he’s spoken out loud since coming to Eden, “but I never left my post.” This was true. He’s been there for a few hours really, not enough to get bored of it just yet. “Nothing’s gone in or out.”

“You were supposed to make sure that the humans didn’t go near the tree of knowledge.” Aziraphale could hear the _Stupid_ that Gabriel barely included at the end. “But they still did and they’ll be thrown out from the Garden now. Thanks to you,” the archangel smirked. “What were you even doing during that time?”

“Oh. I didn’t know. I believe the humans were responsible for their own actions, though.” The smaller angel pointed out good naturedly. “I only knew after She called them out. Which was just around ten minutes ago.”

“They were tempted. And you weren’t there to thwart the tempting.”

“Oh, dear. Was I supposed to do that too?”

“Of course. What else should an angel do?” He slapped the smaller angel’s shoulder. Rather harder than he should. “You were supposed to keep them in the right path. You’ll be demoted for this. You’ll be left here, on Earth. For your incompetence,” he sounded delighted, besides bearing such a horrible news.

The angel’s brows contorted in confusion and a little bit of sadness. But mostly confusion. “They did just tell me to guard the Gate. Shall I tell the other angels, then?”

What other angels?

“North, South and West gates,” the smaller angel said. He’s never really talked to them yet and hadn’t known their names. So, he opted for their location.

Why would you tell them?

“We’re the guardians of the gates. We were all supposed to guard the tree, as you say,”

"Why would you lot them in with you? They won’t be demoted."

“So just me then?”

“Perhaps they forgot to give out the Tree guarding bit but there are other Guardians of the Gates, if they are not being demoted for the same folly then I see no point in demoting me.”

“Nope. Just you.”

“I-I’m sorry. That doesn’t seem right.”

“I’m not giving you a choice,” the bigger angel barked as if the smaller angel was too stupid. He believed it was the case.

The smaller angel opened his mouth. “Before I’m relieved of my duty, may I ask again what my job title is… or rather the one I was assigned, uh, a few hours ago?”

The bigger angel sighed but resigned to get his subordinate’s head out of the clouds. Perhaps he doesn’t understand that there are no clouds on Earth’s ground.

“Right. You are Aziraphale Guardian of the Eastern Gate. Have you not gotten that into your head yet?”

“Ah. But see, that is what I was confused about. I am as you say the Guardian of the Eastern Gate. But also, as you have told me, I was to guard the Tree so that the humans would not eat the fruits. So, why not my title be Guardian of the Tree of Knowledge?”

The bigger angel gaped at him.

The smaller angel plowed on. “I mean, if I were the Guardian of the gate, I would, in fact be at the gate. Not somewhere else. For me to you know, guard it. And I was to guard it from things that were outside the gate. Or things that would want to enter the gate. So, I, in all logic would be looking out and not in. Where the Tree was. In, that is.”

“Now if I were told to be Guardian of the Tree of Knowledge. I would be staying by the Tree of Knowledge and would have barred the humans from even coming near it. Therefore, preventing them from taking the fruits. As it were, and as you say, I am, or have been for a few hours at least, the Guardian of the Eastern Gate. Ergo, I am not responsible for a fault in not guarding something I was not specifically told to guard,” he grinned, rather proud to have solved that little puzzle.

Somewhere in the bushes there wriggled a black and red-bellied snake. It had gotten down from the same Tree the smaller angel was told not to guard, but also expected to guard, and settled himself in the long grass somewhere near the tall wall. He wanted to not feel alone, even though it won’t be talking to the angels nearby. The bright Light that called out to the humans had scared it, although it would never say so. He was following the smaller angel’s tirade and had seen the confused face of the bigger angel. He looked like his brain melted. It writhed, muscles and tail vibrating on itself. It did not look like it was in pain. On the contrary, it looked rather like it was laughing. Without the sound. It was a snake after all.

“Zip it.” The archangel finally said, a few minutes after the smaller angel had already stopped talking and the snake hidden below had already taken stabling breaths. The bigger angel frowned at him. “The deed is done. You shouldn’t ask questions, or you’ll find yourself Falling,” He huffed.

The snake in the tall grass bristled, and crawled to another part of the garden before he attacks the bigger angel. He didn’t like how the he was talking. It knew it could take him. But it also knew that there is a rather sharp-looking sword in the smaller angel’s hand that was flaming like anything. It could easily cut him in half. So, he slithered off.

“That does sound serious,” Aziraphale mused putting his hands behind his back and rocking on his heels again with a confused face. I’ll be “Falling after you then.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been asking questions too.” The bigger angel froze.

“I did not.”

“Oh, but see from the time you landed until your last exclamation, you have asked me precisely eight questions. As I on the other hand had asked…” here he screwed his face in concentration again, reliving their previous exchange “…five. Five questions. You’ve asked more than I have.” The smaller angel said in a rather matter of-fact-tone. “I counted,” he said sheepishly when the bigger angel just stood and glared at him.

“I meant questioning your demotion.”

“I didn’t question my demotion. I merely asked if the others would be demoted. And what my previous job was. I just wanted to map out my ideas to understand what I did wrong. But I’m not questioning. Sorry, just babbling.”

“Then shut your stupid mouth,” the bigger angel looked like it was getting a headache. “Just stay there.” And he flew before the smaller angel could babble again.

“Oh bother. I don’t even know what to guard now, if I am to guard anything at all.” He frowned. He’s been frowning quite a lot more in the last few minutes than the last few hours.

He heard movements shuffling towards him.

“Oh, hello.” He waved at the humans who came towards him. He saw them once when he came down. That was before they ate from the tree. They were bare at that time. This time they had pinned leaves around parts of their bodies. He doesn’t really understand. But they looked scared. He wanted to ask them questions, but he was told he might Fall.

He heard the gate behind him open. _Oh, they were to be thrown out_. He remembered.

He looked back at the three of them. Uhm, two. No, three. He sensed three lives. The third hiding inside the other one, the woman. Another question bubbled inside him. Nearly tumbling out his mouth. He ruffled his feathers. Not asking questions is hard.

He looked at the one carrying the other life. It felt quite small and fragile. He didn’t want to throw anything that seemed so weak. But he knows they had to go.

They both looked really scared and confused. A little like him.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to leave. As least that’s what I heard,” he felt wretched. Why hadn’t the archangel stayed and done the throwing out bit? He looked happier bringing bad news to others. He was frowning and questioning. Again.

He saw the woman’s hands cover her stomach protectively. And the man’s worried gaze fell on it too. They both knew they had to take care of it.

“Right. Here,” the angel held out his flaming sword. He had to do something at least. They looked even more confused.

“I can’t really help you but I could at least give you this to fight against the many dangers out there. I was given this to guard the gate. Apparently, I won’t be doing so anymore. Just take it. Don’t thank me, and don’t let the sun go down on you here.”

The humans took the sword gingerly. He knew he was babbling again, and was just stalling. So, he stepped aside to let them through before his nerves failed him. Better yet, he flew to the top of the garden’s wall before he could call them back.

He steadied himself looking out at the humans walking ever father from their home and sighed.

The red-bellied snake heard the smaller angel sigh. It saw the bigger angel fly off and thought to go back to the gate to see how things had gone. It saw the angel on the wall looking worried. It slithered next to him. At a rather safe distance. He remembered the sword.

It changed from snake to man-shaped so it could talk. He thought the angel could use someone else to talk to.

“Well that went down like a lead balloon,” he thought he should be pleasant to the angel after the other one had been very rude.

The angel let out a nervous laugh. He felt stressed and could only reply “Sorry, what was that?” The question coming out before he could stop himself. Looked like he’ll Fall after all and resigned to at least make the most out of their conversation seeing as the demon next to him was being rather nice.

And there we leave them, chatting and getting acquainted. They would, in the many years to come, understand that this day had set such a momentous tug on both humanity’s history and their individual own.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just the figment of my sleep-deprived brain. To be honest I sounded like I was high going over the conversations between Aziraphale and Gabriel. Just wanted to put this here to free up fuzzy space in my brain. Too little coffee. Please understand. :))


End file.
